Hey! So this blog post is not going to be about any Bible passages (although I am thinking some could be mentioned). It is about my life at the moment. I get so caught up in doing blog posts about my Bible study, that I don't think to really blog just about myself in general. I have made some pretty big decisions lately and am going through some tough times. I am beginning to change my attitude about New Orleans. Up to this point, I have absolutely hated it. It is still not my favorite. But I am trying to work through that and be joyful in the fact that I know God wants me here. My church, Vintage Metairie, is playing a huge impact on this attitude. There are now two campuses to Vintage Church, Vintage Uptown and Vintage Metairie. Vintage Metairie just began at the beginning of January. This sparked a renewal in my commitment. I really struggled to get involved in Uptown. I don't really know why. I think it was my attitude honestly. But now that Vintage Metairie is up, I have really been trying to plug in as much as I can. it is difficult working a full time job and going to school full time, but I am having to make sacrifices. I feel not remorse or bitterness in this fact though. I love that I am finally having to make decisions for Christ that may take away something else I enjoy doing. Now that I am really getting involved with church I have made another huge decision. I was thinking about how I was only going to be down here for another year and a half and I did not think that was enough time to really get involved with this church. So because of that, I have decided to slow down a little bit and really enjoy my time here and my classes and life. I can't change that I am taking 16 hours this semester, so this semester is going to be crazy. But after this semester, I am going to take lighter loads so that I can do more with the church. Because of this, I have decided not to join the Army while I am still in school. I do not really know where this is going to lead. I may still join the Army after I get done with school and I may not. This is a choice that is going to be made by God, not by me. I am going to do whatever He calls me to, whether that is into the Army or to Boston to start a church to try to reach those people My desire right now is really leaning towards starting a church in an area that is completely unchurched, whether that be Boston or elsewhere God calls me. I just want to make a difference in the world. With that desire though, I am struggling with some major pride issues. I want to make a difference, but I want people to know that I made a difference. I want to be a household name. I have always wanted to be famous. It is something I struggle with often. My heart tells me that it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Christ is proclaimed. Christ needs to be famous. Not me.
Psalm 8:3-4
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?
I am struggling a lot with my quite time with the Lord and with reading scripture. It is a real struggle for me. I really want to desire God with my entire being. When I do read the Scriptures, I cannot get away from Psalms. I absolutely love it and feel like every verse speaks to me. Who are we that God should care for us? God does not need us. We are insignificant on the grand scheme of the universe and even on the grand scheme of the world. But we are completely significant to God. He knows us by name and personally knows our hearts. I cannot wrap my brain around this. I really want to understand how we gained God's favor. The universe is so majestic. God does not need us. But He loves us all the same.
I don't really know what the meaning of this post is. So I am going to end it and try to impart some knowledge into all of you. Please stop caring about your own personal desires so much. There is a huge world out there that really needs us to make a stand. Show people love. Not just on Sunday morning but absolutely every day of the week at every time during those days. If you are fighting some things know that you are not alone. You have thousands and millions of brothers and sisters in Christ that would love to help and serve you and the Creator of the universe to listen to your cries. Never feel alone. You are loved. :D
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