Friendship

Today, I am going to try to tackle a few tough questions concerning friendships. Now some of these may not seem like tough questions at first but they really are important and will have a huge impact on each individual’s life. I am going to start off in a general sense and then maybe become more specific to a certain demographic. The question you must first ask yourself is “How do I choose my friends?” This question is an extremely easy one for me to answer. I befriend those who want to befriend me. If I initially try to be friends with someone and they don’t really seem all that interested (meaning they don’t message me back on facebook or don’t really talk to me on a personal level) than I decide that I don’t really need to pursue that friendship any further. My friends up to this point have always been made on circumstance. When I first went to college I met the people my brother hung out with and became friends with them, and would then become friends with their friends and so forth. I am probably one of the worst people ever at making friends. I have been in New Orleans now for about two months and would really say that I have only one person that I really consider my friend. Pretty sad huh? It isn’t like I don’t want friends. I try to talk to people, but with they don’t seem interested I back off. Anyway that isn’t what this post is about. After you think some about the question of how you choose friends we should examine the question of how we should choose friends. Is there a specific set of criteria that we should look for in friends? Should we only become friends with a certain kind of people? After we look at that we should try to think about what makes a friend a friend. At what point does a friend cross over the boundary of acquaintanceship into the realm of a beloved friend?

How should we choose friends? In my collegiate ministry class today, we discussed how some people choose friends. I found my way of choosing friends to be unique. No one else in my class ever discussed choosing friends just by who wants to be friends with them. Now I am not saying my way is right. Quite the contrary, by results, my way is not right at all but far from it. Some of the other people in the class chose their friends based on similar interests. If a person has the same major as you, it seems that maybe they have some of the same thoughts and views as you do. It is easiest to become friends with people that you relate to. Maybe this way does not really work for me because I don’t really relate to anyone. Haha. What kind of impact does choosing friends have? To me, it seems like choosing friends is one of the biggest decisions a person can make. Real friends are going to be there for every aspect of your life. They are going to go through your darkest moments with you. They are going to be there to celebrate the best moments of your life. In essence, they are going to help shape the person that you become. So, with such an important decision, how should we choose our friends? To me we should ask the question, how did Jesus choose his friends? That is a good question. He didn’t choose people who had the same beliefs. He did not choose people for their looks or social status. He did not choose people by who could offer him the most benefit. Jesus did not necessarily even choose the most trustworthy people (Judas, Peter). Jesus chose his friends through prayer. Jesus prayed. I don’t know that God is going to send down any divine revelations about who our friends should be, but it is certainly a good place to start. Maybe we should simply expand our horizon when it comes to making friends. Jesus befriended prostitutes and tax collectors. Yet churches today completely shun those people from even entering their doors. Do you really think Jesus would want a homosexual turned away from church because they are different? Because they choose to have a lifestyle that we think is the wrong kind of lifestyle to have?

What should a friend be once they become a friend? What defines a friend? To me a friend is someone who you can trust, who you know will be there for you no matter what with absolutely no complaints, and someone who you can tell anything to without the slightest hint of judgment. A friend is someone loves you for who you are no matter what you have done. The bible defines a friend as being loyal (Proverbs 18:24), honest (Proverbs 24:26), and forgiving (Colossians 3:13). An important lesson to learn, however, is how to live alone. How to be comfortable enough with yourself to not have to have people surrounding you all the time. To be able to do things along is a sign of maturity (one that I have not really learned yet). But friendships sometimes don’t last forever. Sometimes people will grow apart, and it is important to have that social connection to have other people to fall back on when this happens. Friends are one of the most important aspects of life. Without friends I would be a completely unhappy and terrible person to be around. Friends keep me grounded. Friends keep me humble. But most of all friends keep me happy. What do your friends do for you? IF they don’t life you up constantly, maybe you should invest the time to make some new ones.